Background

In recent months, I’ve experienced a significant shift in my mindset, prompting me to pause and reflect. I’m documenting this change to allow my future self to review the evolution of my inner journey.

Writing down my naive thoughts.

Key Word 1：Qualify

At work, I’ve found myself subjectively measuring someone’s abilities based on my own values to determine if they’re “qualified.” What kind of “qualifications” am I referring to?

First, whether you are qualified to lead me. If I do not recognize someone’s capabilities, I might feel that they lack the qualifications to be my leader. This is especially true after having seen excellent leaders like hb, hq, yx, and dd, who have all become senior leaders now. Keeping pace with these bosses requires hard work.

Second, whether I’m qualified to lead you. Previously, I didn’t pay much attention to whether I could lead others or the number of people I could lead. My thinking has indeed changed.

A close friend told me that I should stay true to my initial aspirations, and it doesn’t matter who becomes my leader. I feel I’m not quite there yet.

Key Word 2：Change

At the beginning of 2023, I told my friends, “If I can make a living with technology, I might not change myself.” I have a passion for technology, and working in tech seems straightforward; it’s about doing one thing well. In the United States, perhaps I could advance through a technical track and I believe I would live happily.

Like one of the creators of Golang, Robert Griesemer, who is still coding at the age of 60. However, this is nearly impossible in China.

We can’t change the environment, only adapt to it. So now, my mindset has also changed. Why change myself? Because I realized that if I don’t, I might end up being managed by “mediocre” people. Rather than being managed by the “mediocre,” it’s better to consider how to manage the “mediocre.”

Key Word 3：Promotion

My former life philosophy was “桃李不言下自成蹊”. I aspired to diligently do my work well without overly showcasing myself. Now, I’ve come to realize that just doing my job well always results in an “OK” rating, and such a low return on investment (ROI) is unsatisfactory.

I also harbored some naive notions in the past:

• Firstly, I didn’t want to be seen as too utilitarian or unseemly in my ambition, which I thought might disgust others.
• Secondly, I believed that as long as I was excellent, I would be recognized as such anywhere, without needing anyone else to judge my abilities.

My perspective has since shifted. My objective is clear: “To achieve the highest performance reviews, promotions, and pay raises.” To reach this goal, everything else is a means to an end, with technology being just one of many tools available.

Key Word 4：Mangerment

Working in technology is straightforward, as it typically involves excelling at one thing. Management, on the other hand, requires juggling multiple tasks simultaneously without a set playbook, demanding proactive thought and exploration.

In the last six months, I’ve moved away from coding, as my environment no longer necessitates it. The current expectation is to lead my team well, build a combat-ready team, and support rapid business development.

My primary focus now includes several aspects: Technology (architectural design, solution reviews, process standardization), Business (summaries, planning, strategic thinking, and business development debriefing), and Team (supporting member growth/promotion, one-on-one meetings).

Personally, I truly enjoy working with like-minded colleagues. I am always eager to share with them the pitfalls I’ve encountered and the reflections I’ve had throughout my work. Proactively, I assist them in enhancing their technical skills, improve their performance review, and support their career advancement. It’s my hope to see them grow and succeed.

Key Word 5：Speech

I used to seldom speak in front of large audiences, which often led to nervousness during public sharing and presentations. The more anxious I became, the less clearly I could convey my message. Many members of our team experience the same issue, which can be a disadvantage during interview presentations.

I haven’t yet come up with an ideal solution to this problem.

Key Word 6：Cognitive

Recently, pd shared with me his documentation, and his description of the MG project provided me with some insights. I realized that I have been overly focused on the technical execution, which has narrowed my perspective. I should consider things from a higher-level viewpoint.

Looking back at the times I explained the architecture of IM during interviews, I feel that my delivery was poor. If hq were to describe it, it would undoubtedly come across as impressive to others.

This experience has taught me the importance of interacting with accomplished individuals to broaden my horizons.

Key Word 7：Shock

• A colleague, with whom I am in competition, managed to include my accomplishments in his performance summary and even invited me to review it.
• Exaggeration and embellishment are common; a minor feature can be inflated into something spectacular through clever wordplay.

Initially, I was shocked when I encountered these practices, and I disdained those who engaged in them. Over time, I have come to accept it as part of what I call “political maneuvering.”

Last

The one constant in my heart is the hope that my family and I can lead better lives. This is the ultimate goal; everything else is a means to that end, and there’s nothing that can’t be changed in pursuit of it.